Chaotic Mind

What am I doing here?
When I feel not needed at all.

What am I doing here?
When people find it easy to neglect me.

What am I doing here?
When the only thing that I can call mine, is a 2×2 desk.

What am I doing here?
When scrolling through unnecessary stuff is the only thing I do the entire day.

What am I doing here?
When the only thing I look at throughout the day is the exit door and the clock to struck 6.

Still in hope. A new beginning or a sorrow end?

Breaking Away

The mountains are calling and so are the beaches.
Uncharted territories far and beyound. A sense of getting lost is calling.

All those unknown souls I am yet to meet. A heaven full of peace and solitude is calling.

Escaping from all bondages. And unwanted connections.
My heart is calling. Yes my heart is calling.

Chaos

Here I am standing. All alone.

Plenty of people around but none whom I recognise.
Plenty of voices but no conversations that I can connect.
Is it the chaos outside or the storm inside me?

Why is there so much rush when we don’t know where we heading to.
Why have we come so far when we never wanted to leave.
Is it the noise outside or the vacuum inside me?

Why do we dream when it always shatters.
Why do we hope when we know there is no path ahead.
Is it me or the demon inside me talking?

Take Care

To the future,
Thank you for holding her hand for she is the most beautiful creation in this world.

Please ensure you keep her safe and happy, tucked away from the harsh world outside for I failed to do so.

Please ensure that you make her smile for I could only give tears.

Please ensure that you treat her right for I brought only pain.

Please ensure that you are present when she is at her lowest for I could only wish to be besides her every single moment.

Please hug her often for I could only yearn for her embrace forever.

Please compliment her for my words always failed to bring a smile.

Please always be besides her for I made the mistake of sailing away.

Please accept her the way she is for I couldn’t say she is mine.

Please let her mistakes be forgiven for she is a little child with a golden heart.

Please do not make her cry for I will inflict pain on you multiplied several times.

She is a grown up lady with a mind of her own. Respect that. Happiness for her is in the smallest of things. Remember that. She needs her space. Ensure that.

With so many years passing by, I could not get the courage to walk up to her and speak my heart out after we split. Do not make that mistake. More than her happiness, I wished to be always present when she was sad, but I failed. Do not make that mistake. When she went crazy, I went away. Do not make that mistake.

Show her always how much you want to be with her. I went mute but you do not make that mistake. Good moments aside, love is to fight together in all the struggles, in all the ups and downs. I failed but you do not make that mistake.

Keep this in mind, if I ever get a chance to show her how much I love her, I will sweep her away from her feet and carry her around the world. Take her to places where she always wanted to go. Not because she cannot go alone. But because I want to be besides her when the sun rays kiss her eyes on the mountains and the wind brushes her cheeks on the beaches. I want to be lost in her, with her forever. Never to be found again.

Maybe someday we will meet again. We will be friends once again. We will fall in LOVE all over again.

1

Life isn’t measured by the number of years we live, but by the number of people’s lives we touch
And you my lady,
Yes you my BEAUTIFUL lady,
Have touched me deep, like no one has before…
Your warm breath and your soft touch,
Your pretty eyes and those lovely smiles
I can never be content and never be fulfilled

It seemed only like yesterday, we were all about each other
Never in my lifetime would that change
My body still inhales you and my soul feels
Yes you my lady
Ohh you my BEAUTIFUL lady…

Ohh you my BEAUTIFUL Lady